CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE :P

Oh well. The courts are on vacation, so everybody at the office has been pretty jobless. I picked up last week’s Encomium from the front desk and on page 7, the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church Of God allegedly ordered church ministers nationwide, to bring the number of parishes to 1000 before the Annual convention which usually comes up every August.

Can anyone think of any country in this world with more churches than Nigeria? There are two mini churches on Femi Kila street alone (Isolo, n trust me, its not a very long street). From Alliance Française, Yaba, where I had my French lessons last summer, I could look out back and spot two churches, and in front just across the pedestrian bridge was another! Let me not even go in on Akute traffic on Sunday when the churches close, you wouldn’t believe!! If you’re getting on the 3rd mainland bridge from Yaba, squashed between shanties, around Legacy Club House and Chelsea Fans Club, I count three churches every morning! In one plaza near BRT Fadeyi, there are three churches! Must be some holy noise on Sundays!!!

Before I go on, I must make this clear: I am a Christian too, and I am not opposed to evangelism, or the mission of the RCCG which is: “To make heaven, and take as many people as possible with us.”

When most people come round, evangelizing, I have found that it is no more enough for them to know that you are “saved”, and already have a church or worship centre. Rather than encourage you to grow in your faith, and your church, and okay, if they must, maybe saying you could drop by theirs anytime, many would rather try to convince you to come to their own church.

I’m Catholic, and for some evangelists, hearing this makes them all the more set to win me over. Sometimes, I even get the feeling that they have been sent to win the Pagans, the Muslims, the Jews, and then, the Catholics.

I have no patience for such people anymore, and someday I might have to point out to one of them that they are missing something. It’s not supposed to be about you. It’s supposed to be about Jesus. You want to encourage people to come to church, good. You also want there to be a church (yours) within every 5 minute walking distance. Why? I do not see any reason why there should be a church on every street though, but still: Is it not okay that there is already an inter-denominational church on the same street? And it’s a 5 minute walking distance from both ends of the street? Is the point not for people to hear the good news?? Why choke up our streets, why not just move on, and establish yourself, if you must, on another street that has not been graced with your gospel? My village is not a small one; it was even in the Atlas I used in Secondary school! It has a bank, and a Mr. Biggs, yet how many parishes are there???

Whenever I see this multiple encroachment, I think of Mr. Biggs and Tantalizers; or Zenith and GTBank. At least, those are businesses. But churches today, remind me of the same: stiff competition, franchise. Why else would a church’s security guards puncture someone’s tyres, just because they parked in your church’s compound because their own church’s space was full? We are all members of the one body of Christ, no?

Anybody that wants to vex should vex. I don’t know about you guys, but I too, I haff vexed! Living in Lagos is pretty crazy, and I can’t see ANY reasons why anybody should make it the tiniest bit worse. Prayer is key, I must agree, but still, give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar. My parents pay their taxes. And so do many people in this beautiful city: Christian, and non-Christian. My main grouse is not the indiscriminate sprouting of churches, but the effects. I wonder why nobody has sued the prayer cities built along the Lagos/Ibadan and other expressways for the public nuisance tho, that’s a matter for another day.

But then again: give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar! Why put up structures in the wrong places, and make no provision for parking, making your members have to double-park on the road? Or at least, for those that build within 5 minutes distance, beg your members to walk to church, at least, in appreciation of the efforts you’ve made building a church next to them? Why put up those blaring, obnoxious speakers outside, especially when your entire congregation is inside? Yes, it’s Sunday, and you want everybody to hear the Good news, but why so noisy? It’s a legal wrong: sometimes civil, sometimes dangerously leaning towards criminal. Christians are not in any way exempted from civic duties, express or implied. I wonder where the government is, in all this; even Fashola is approaching this with great caution. Well, our government is almost always on the road to nowhere so…that’s another day’s rant. Nobody wants God to vex for them, but I’m convinced He’d take my side on this one.

Surely, there must be a better way of spreading the good news.